DiaNisME


It’s just a thought … only a thought
August 11, 2005, 9:32 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Ini dah tanggal brp ya … sepertinya dah lebih sebulan gw ninggalin Bdg dan berlibur diMakassar. Di tulisan gw sebelumnya, gw msh bingung gitu harus ngerasa gimana balik lg ke Mks setelah setahun ninggalinnya. Sekarang gw lagi mikir2 gimana sih perasaanku sebenarnya setelah sebln ninggalin Bdg dan sekarang dah mau balik lg ksana.

Mungkin gk penting2 bgt sih tuk dipikiran, tp brhubung gw lg bener2 gk da kerjaan dan emang gw trlalu banyak berpikir ya inilah kira2 hslnya …

Bandung… gw milih kota itu untuk mengejar yg namanya suatu kebebasan. Gw mutusin sperti itu pada waktu gw dah di semester trakhir SMU.

Perjalananku memperoleh kebebasan tdk terjadi seperti dugaanku sebelumnya. Tadinya gw ngira akan trbangun pd suatu pagi dan segalanya menjd jelas. Merasa terbebas dari segala-galanya. Atau mungkin, ada satu peristiwa tertentu yg membuatku bs memperolehnya. Namun, itu justru terjadi ketika gw sedang menangis sejadi-jadinya, again n again. Dulu wkt gw di Mks, gw sering bgt nangis, kalo ada suatu masalah yg gk bs gw hadapi, gw milih nangis, alone in my room … never cry on anyone shoulder, not even around them. Tp pas gw dah di Bdg, dmana gw ngerasa masalah gw pst lbh banyak, gw malah jarang bgt nangis. Gw ingat wkt gw lg dpt mslh yg gw rasa berat bgt, gw smp sulit tdr, tp gw lupa satu hal … gw lupa nangis. Gw malah nangis pada waktu masalah itu dah lewat, gw nangis cuman gara2 gw ngerasa capek, capek jd cewk yg sok tegar. Lalu gw duduk sambil mengenang kembali semua yg trjd sethn trakhir, dan menyadari bahwa sebenarnya sejak dulu jg gw sdh terbebas. Trjdnya bkn pd satu ttk trtentu, namun dlm beberapa ksempatan.

Sudah banyak yg brubah, bukan hanya digw, bahkan dirmh gw jg dah banyak yg brubah … suasananya (baik dan buruk). Gw sendiri gk yakin knp. Satu hal lg yg agak menarik bagiku, gw rasa semua org diskitarku, baik tman2ku berubah menjd lbh ambisius dr pd dulu, SEMENTARA AMBISIku JUSTRU SEMAKIN BERKURANG. Kadang2, gw bahkan gk yakin apakah gw msh mau jd Arsitek. (Yup, that’s why gw msh mikir2 nembak sana nembak sini pas SPMB). Tapi gw yakin, gw gk bakal membuat ini jd masalah atau kebingungan baru. Gw bakalan mastiin semuanya kalo dah semester2 akhir. Gw gk yakin mau jd Arsitek, bkn berarti gw gk yakin mau kuliah di arsitektur. Gw masih tetap yakin ma pilihan jurusan gw ini, coz gw yakin msh bnyak tantangan yg menunggu di jurusan ini. Gw cuman gk yakin ntar gw end up jd arsitek, bs aja jd … …. …. jadi …. … jd apa ya.

Umur gw skarang 18 mnuju 19. Gw rasa ini yg dimaksud Britney Spears dgn … Not a Girl, not yet a women. Ada yg blg umur 17 yaitu usia ketika seseorang belajar mengetahui kebenaran. Tp gw gk yakin, bnyak jg tuh remaja2 yg blum ngeh, bahkan untuk berusaha tau jg nggak. Tapi gw usahaain, gw bakal terus mengetahui kebenaran till the day I die.

Emang sih, rada2 sulit dimengrti, gw jg kadang sulit ngerti apa yg kadang2 gw ngerti … (huh?). Ya … pokonya gt deh maksudnya. Gw jd ingat lagu baru Mrs. Britney Federline.

Someday you will understand

In God’s whole plan

And what He does to you

But maybe, someday you will breathe

And you’ll finally see

You’ll see it al in …

Ya silahkan deh ngisi titik itu dgn jawaban lu masing2. Tp kalo buat gw, disaat gw mengenang kembali setahun yg telah berlalu ini, gw nemuin sesuatu yg indah.

Gw nemuin ‘Someday’ itu. ‘Suatu hari nanti’ itu telah datang. Karena akhirnya gw sedikit2 dah bs ngerti.

PS: Gak semua yg lu baca itu bener !!!

Tell me if I’m wrong.




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sis, long time not seen u, long time not chat each other, chat about some1, bout love, live and even bout task from our teachers, i’ve read u’re blogs, hey…u’re grown up, u’re a woman in my thoughts, matuteness is not a thing that we can pushover, it grown up by itself, don’t push u’re self 2 understand, 2 get grown up fast, later u’ll be find the answers of u’re queastion, now i take vacation, but not 2 long, i’ll back, struggle again with u, and others, can wait 2 it happend, i miss u, miss our chats, miss our story again, please 4give me 4 what happend last smester, i’ll explain the whole story 2 u, congrats!!u’re adults now, it is hard 2 now that when we adults we must carried a thing called “responsibility”, but see the “silver cloud”,(the bright side,red)i’ve struggle 4 my live and life this smester, fuh, believe me its not easy, even not easy 2 tell, but i’v learn so many good experience with all that stories i’ve had, life its not the thing we can predict, it has its own way, some way bring us stronger than be4,some….suck us till the bottom of our life, its nature when we cry, cry about our life, i used 2 cry 2, its true that many people now not yet concern about prety thing(example:good relationship, good friendship, good attitude, responsibility, trust, love(they always said that love is a fake thing)i’m not agree with that, not concern about society(life in forrest if u do))nowadays, people just concern about them self(fuck with others)just came 2 us when they need us, and fuck us when they see that we have above them, it sucks, its rarely 2 have a friend like u, friend that realize this matther, long ago i thing i just on my own, but…i’ve found u, thanks 4 alot of stories we had, lets grown up 2gether, i’m not sure2 about my future, but man(manusia) must have plan, even destiny sometime said no!!, but wa have make plan of our life, jadi atau tidaknya kmu jadi arsitek its not a problem, tapi 1 yang pasti, kamu udah jadi manusia terbaik, a good person(u know that, and u must sure that), jenis manusia yang langka di hari2 sekarang, we had a prety same stories, i feel just about what u’ve feel, 1 thing u must sure, u’re not alone(he4x, kita kyk pergerakan underground yah??)againts the society(the corrupt society(with their attitude))kadang gw ngerasa aneh, ketika gw ngerasa sikap gw benar, tapi dianggap aneh dan salah oleh society, ketika gw anggap apa yg terjadi di society itu aneh, tapi itu udah jadi trend hidup zaman sekarang, what is really happend 2day??ada tulisan yg meramalkan suatu hari akan datang ketika sesuatu yg salah akan dinggap benar dan lumrah pada zamannya, dan sesuatu yg benar akan dianggap aneh dan menyalahi aturan, (sucks, i just reallize that we life in that days now)this is the day when the good and evil secara terang2an berperang(walau kadang rancu mana yg benar dan yg salah)sesuatu yg maksudnya benar diapresiasi dengan salah, dan sebaliknya, but look at from another side, there is many good and positive things grown up 2 day too, fuh, cape mikirinnya, but now i’m on my knees, but i know i must grow up, although i’ve heard i must be strong, because inside i know that many feel this way…..children don’t stop dancing, believe…u can fly away…away(god i love that song)lets get struggle 2gether to accieved our dreams, our plan of future, to grown up 2gether, whew, gw bisa bikin novel soal ini, this morning i wake up with alots of bruise and pain in my body, pegal2, but nothing can stop me 2day, cause i know 2day has a good and prety ending, miss u sis, so miss u…….keep in rockin babe, don’t stop dancing, suck!!di sebelah ada anak2 13-14thn yg sok tua coba2 chating ngaku umur 17, apa sih yg mereka cari??)akh fuck with them!!nothing can stop me 2 post this comment 2 u, hard 2 end this………

can wait 2 seein ya……..

peace out

   Toto 05.07.06 @ 10:22 pm



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